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Mothers, Daughters, Friends

The daughter of a friend of mine – a special young woman and a very special friend – reminded me yesterday of the extraordinary power of women’s friendships and mothers’ modeling.  Read for yourself: http://marburyvmadisonave It surprised me how instantly I ached for the daughter, remembering as if it were yesterday the relentlessness of infant care, my incompetence in dealing with a 2 year-old, and my profound ambivalence about being where I was as opposed to where I thought I was supposed to be and the loneliness that engendered.  I was also surprised by how validated I felt by the daughter’s observations and new understanding of both her mother’s profound love for her and friendship with me.  And I was really surprised when I started to cry, dripping unbidden tears onto my keyboard.  I missed being a clueless young parent; I missed my mother; I missed the friend I moved away from 30 years ago. I can still call and/or email her when I need to, though – and I do. 

And still, I welcome the new friendship of other women, too --  like the woman who arrived back to our Sunday School class (which meets Monday mornings) after a month away in the mountains.  How was it? we asked.  “The first two weeks were just as planned – relaxing and wonderful,” she reported.  Then, with utter candor, she added, “But the next two weeks were exhausting and chaotic – after we got a phone call from our daughter whose husband of 25 years was leaving her.  I don’t mean to tell you all everything,” she said, “but I need to tell you almost everything because I know, as women friends, you’ll understand.”

As women friends, we understand.  Isn’t that a blessing?!  Please pass it on.