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The Caregiving Passage

Gail Sheehy’s latest book chronicling life’s ages and stages just as we “of a certain age” reach them, is called Passages in Caregiving: Turning Chaos into Confidence (May, 2010). In a related story in the July 5 Newsweek,she calls a “second round of caregiving” a “predictable crisis for women in midlife,” and warns of the exhaustion, family dysfunction, risk of depression, burnout and death that can result.  She also offers survival tips:  Don’t try to do it alone.  Take at least one hour a day to do something that gives you pleasure and refreshment.  Take longer breaks every few months.  Understand you’re not in charge; “no mere human can control disease or aging.” And, don’t lose your “self” in the process; make an effort to get back into life and replenish your emotional attachments.

Good, wise, healthy, sanity-saving counsel.  Here’s the rub:  It requires those of us who -- by circumstance or condition or temperament -- take care of others well to take care of ourselves as well.  And I don’t know about you, but there’s a little part of me that wishes for the occasional fairy godmother with a magic wand (at least) -- someone -- to take care of me sometimes, too.